Lifesavers for Latasha

That sounds ironic, right? To reflect on reflecting. Silly? Useless? Repetitive? Dwelling? Perhaps…

However, I offer this perspective about reflection and, more importantly, thinking deeply. Thinking deeply means analyzing and reflecting on issues, ideas, situations, emotions, or whatever you’re trying to focus on. It’s a process that takes time, vulnerability, and raw honesty to oneself.

Over the years, I have learned that my inner voice is important and useful if put toward good and not destructive ways. I suffer from PTSD, have massive anxiety, and get upset very easily from things I cannot control or drama or, frankly, bad people. My inner voice can be very damaging, so thinking is a process.

Reflection on whatever I’m going through has allowed me to be more resilient and bounce back faster. Don’t get me wrong, I suffer in silence and have very long conversations with myself, but then I open up to those in my inner circle. I journal a lot and write when I feel appropriate, especially if I find value in sharing something. Hence, my writing during this transplant journey. It is a journey of hope, sorrow, joy, anger, anxiety, frustration, and everything in between.

It’s that messy array of emotions that makes life worth it. To be honest, what is life without feeling? You can’t enjoy the good without having the perspective of the bad. You can’t value gains without loss. You can’t appreciate beauty without ugly. Life is a messy shitshow of beautiful craziness. I love it and hate it.

But isn’t that the point? Of course, it is.

Joy is always relative to the moment. The bad, the sad, the mad is all temporary.

But I digress; back to my point. Reflecting and analyzing before passing judgment is essential when someone is going through something significant. Anyone who knows me knows that if you open up to me, I am taking the journey with you and will give you what you need—sometimes more than you want. But that’s the point of being good: You lead with empathy and love. Period.

I am offering this point of view to anyone reading this because none of us get through this life without getting knocked down. Whether it’s illness or hardship, we’re all getting our dose. So be the force of goodness for someone.

I often tell people I am not nice, and I am not. I am good. Don’t ever confuse being nice for good. Being nice is to placate someone’s feelings. Being a good person and leader requires honesty, candor, and courage to speak the truth to power. You will be disliked for being good.

So be that rock of goodness for someone in your circle, or not for that matter. Everyone needs a shoulder to lean on or an ear to bend.

Many friends and family have blessed Tasha and me with being that very thing for us. We have spent countless hours, days, months, and years trying to be the best version of ourselves for others and each other. Being good is hard, exhausting, and selfless. It doesn’t have immediate and apparent returns.

I’ll end with this: think deeply, love hard, listen softly, and speak responsibly. The most important voice in the room is never the loudest.

Ps. As I write this, I’m sitting in the courtyard of the Cleveland Clinic Campsi, soaking up the sun.