Lifesavers for Latasha

So it has now been 100 days and some change since Latasha had her heart and double lung transplant. And I have to say, what a wild ride it has been.

It’s been a rollercoaster filled with adventure, and it has been a high demand on Tahsa and me physically, mentally, emotionally, and, if I’m honest, spiritually. It’s been full of wonderous, joyous, miserable, sad, angry, and emotionless days.

I say all that to say, what a ride so far. What a damn ride.

Tasha has been struggling badly the last few weeks mentally, emotionally, and physically, but not specifically to the transplant itself.

Oddly enough, Tasha’s physical struggles are that she has so much energy from her new powerhouse of a heart and lungs that she can’t sit still and is struggling to relax and rest. Frankly, that’s a good problem to have but a very different feeling for her. It scares her, but it excites me for the future.

On Wednesday, we drove back to Cleveland to meet with a stomach surgeon. They have a plan to help her, but it involves time and space for healing. Patience isn’t something we have much of right now, but it’s a solid plan nonetheless. We will go back on 31 October for a few days of tests and another EGD procedure to hopefully solve the problem.

The good news is that she gets more calories daily with homemade bone and veggie broth, protein drinks, and shakes. This weekend, we’re going to make a heavier, concentrated broth to see how Tasha’s stomach handles that. So far, her body is handling the food without nausea or vomiting.

Progress is progress, and we will take that.

The other two parts of the healing triad, mental and emotional, are an upward battle for us both. But the great thing about grit is that it keeps us pushing through the muck and the mud. Don’t get me wrong; it is not easy. Far from it, in fact, and this last week was a rough one in that regard, but we survive each day and live to fight another.

I had the opportunity to sit down with someone in person this past week who has helped me from afar and who has been through this journey. They reminded me of some important things, and for that, I am grateful. Thank you, HA!

That conversation made me reflect on a lot of things, and I realized how much I’ve been silently struggling and how it’s manifesting physically. For example, my barber, whom I’ve been going to for almost four years, said I looked tired and my hair had turned really gray, and she asked if I was okay. Of course, I said, “Yeah, I’m great,” but inside, I wanted to break down and admit that I’m not okay.

Tasha and I have had many conversations about this and other things, and although we are both in different spots right now, I know that we are strong, and our marriage is even stronger.

So, if you’ve made it this far, I think it’s important to remember that life is fleeting. Time is precious and finite. Fear isn’t a reason not to do it. Guilt isn’t a reason to be selfish and not to be happy. Anger isn’t a reason to not forgive anyone, move on, and be happy, especially for yourself. My point is that yesterday is done and gone. Make today a day you’ll be proud of tomorrow.

A few people pointed out to me that I hadn’t posted any photos lately, and oddly enough, Tasha and I had this very conversation Wednesday at Cleveland Clinic, and I guess we are just sort of at a low point where we don’t want to remember it. And Tasha’s not exactly exuding happiness right now, so I feel bad about capturing that. However, we have been trying to take walks outside for exercise and sunshine, and I did snag this one, and you see, one of us is a bit more enthusiastic.

We have a lot to be happy about, but the truth is that happiness comes at a cost. Sacrifices must be made in life to get what you want. And I think it boils down to that. Was the sacrifice worth it? That’s the million-dollar question, I guess, but we won’t know the answer for some time, and that’s where that pesky thing called faith comes in.

And I come back full circle to my first point about the spiritual. It’s really easy to falter in faith when beat down, and for that, I suppose we struggle.

Thank you to all those who continue to rally around us and be there.

Until next time, with much love, we appreciate you all.